Communication Problems

In the process of getting angry, one feels so justified. After all, isn't that why we get mad? Because someone else is doing something that is so inappropriate that our sense of what is right (i.e. best for us at that given instant, eh?) is rightfully violated, tipping us into a demonstration of "righteous" anger.

It is so easy to overlook one's own errors (a plank), while another's errors (a speck) is so glaringly obvious that we (justifiably) become angry.

Ok, I admit, this post isn't for my patient readers (and given how long it takes me to get to my point, I suspect that most of my readers are patient), but for those who get mad about things that shouldn't make them mad...and much too quickly, easily, and often. Like me.

When I was in Springfield a couple of months ago, on the verge of bringing my wife and sons back from Nathaniel's stint in the hospital, T, E, and I did some shopping. While at Aldi (one of the best stores in the world), I watched the following incident:

A mother with two young children, both boys. One, maybe two years old, in the cart. One, maybe a five year old, walking beside it. The mother pushes the cart towards the store. The boy beside the cart, being helpful, begins to put the grocery bags that they had brought with them into the bottom of the cart.

"Here," says the mother, and of course, this word conveys her meaning quite clearly. The boy continues to try to put the bags into the bottom of the cart.

"Here," she says again, and then "Here!" and then again, "Here!" each time her voice getting a little louder, a little more exasperated, a little more annoyed, a little more--"that's right, make your sons think you hate them." "I said here, put the bag up in here!" she snaps at last.

This whole time, the little boy is trying to be helpful. The mother (we will assume she has a college degree at least, out of politeness, while realizing that her verbalization skills during this incident rival those of a two year old) wanted the bags up in the main part of the cart, not underneath where her son was trying to deposit them.

He had no way of knowing she was even talking to him. He had no way of knowing what she was referring to. He had no way of knowing what she wanted, and if what she wanted was something he was supposed to do. In short, she was getting mad at him in a situation during which he deserved only praise for his helpfulness.

God save us all from such communication problems with our children. Learn to communicate with your children, and they'll love you forever. Build up walls between you, and they'll be damn hard to tear down.

Are impatience and pride the same sin?